How to manage Your Inner Critic as the Evenings Get Long.
Deborah Edwards Coaching Ltd
How to Manage Your Inner Critic When the Evenings get Long.
Have you noticed that the voice in your head gets a bit louder as the evenings draw in?
The one that tallies what you haven't done yet. That replays the conversation you wish you'd handled differently. That quietly compares where you are to where you thought you'd be by now, and finds you wanting.
You're not imagining it. There's a reason it can happen at this time of year.
When we have less external stimulus — fewer social events, less light, more evenings at home — we spend more time in our own heads. And for most of us, that means more time with our inner critic.
The inner critic isn't a character flaw. It's actually part of the brain's threat-detection system — a protective voice that developed early in life, trying to keep us safe by anticipating failure and pushing us to do better. The problem is that it often can't tell the difference between a genuine threat and a quiet Thursday evening. It just keeps scanning.
The result is a running commentary that most of us have learned to half-tune-out — but never quite.
When we step into a new role, navigate a career transition, or embrace a major life change, our inner critic often ramps up its volume.
This sudden spike in self-doubt isn't a sign of failure, but rather a predictable physiological and emotional defense mechanism triggered by the unfamiliar. Because the brain craves predictability, any bold leap outside your established comfort zone gets flagged as a potential threat.
Recognizing this pattern allows you to view the critic’s newfound loudness not as proof that you aren't ready, but as evidence that you are actively growing.
So. What do you actually do with it?
The most common advice is to challenge your inner critic — to ask whether its claims are really true. That can help. But I've found that arguing with that voice often just makes it louder.
It goes like this.
When you notice the inner critic running — when you catch yourself in that loop of "I should have, I haven't, I'm behind" — try this:
Step one: Name it. Not out loud (unless that helps). Just internally: "That's my inner critic." Three words. It sounds simple, but naming it creates a tiny gap between you and the voice. You are not the voice. You are the person who just noticed it.
Step two: Acknowledge it without arguing. Something like: "I hear you. You're worried I'm not doing enough." You're not agreeing. You're not fighting. You're just recognising that the voice has a concern — and that concern, underneath the harshness, is usually trying to protect you from something.
Step three: Offer a kinder version. Ask yourself: what would I actually say to a friend who told me they were thinking these things about themselves?
Write it down if you can. Even a sentence. The gap between how we speak to ourselves and how we'd speak to someone we love is often startling — and seeing it written is the beginning of closing it.
This isn't about silencing your inner critic. That voice isn't going anywhere. But you can change your relationship with it — and that changes everything.
As always, if something in this lands for you, I'd love to hear it. Hit reply. I read every one.
Warm wishes,
Deborah
P.S. If your inner critic has been particularly relentless lately — if it's moved beyond the background noise and is genuinely getting in the way — that's often exactly what a first discovery call is for. Thirty minutes, no pressure, just a conversation. You're welcome to get in touch.
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